hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
