I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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