shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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