fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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