he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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