i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
