i permit you to call me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
