I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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