Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
