glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I am naked and annoyed.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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