porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
