only if we run a train.
done.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
