honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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