She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
