Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
