final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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