We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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