im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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