either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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