he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
two words: eviction party
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You need a sexual gate keeper
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
