I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Come on in and take your pants off
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