to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
