Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
