I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
