dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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