ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
