I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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