remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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