The maid of honor just puked.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
