I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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