The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
