Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
