beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
