um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
