We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
