break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
