Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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