So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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