yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This is classic penis vs brain.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
