Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
