Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
