I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
