I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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