still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have aggressive nipples.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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