Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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