I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
