I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
