From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
