I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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