Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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