where am i from again
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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