apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
